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Suzanne Mintz Discusses the Importance of Self-Identifying as a Family Caregiver
President/Co-founder of the National Family Caregivers Association
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Who am I? How do I define myself? How do you know me? These are heady questions; ones we ask ourselves
all of our lives as we try to establish our identities, and find a place for ourselves in this world.
I define myself in many ways-first with my name. I am Suzanne Mintz, Suzi to those who know me since
childhood. Just by looking at me there are many things you can see that give you some idea of who and
what I am. I am obviously female. I am Caucasian. I'm a brunette.
These are all part of my physical presence, the outer shell; your first impression. They don't provide
a complete picture, but they begin to create an outline.
We define ourselves in others ways as well, by our professions, by our religion, by our ethnic
background, by our hobbies. Each label carries with it a set of facts, images, and statistics.
Some of them we choose. Others we do not.
None of us like to be stereotyped, but we don't like feeling all alone either. By identifying with a
group we gain some recognition. We fit in. We belong. We also gain knowledge about ourselves. I feel
comfortable when I walk into a room full of women in "their middle years" because we share things in
common. Our bodies are changing and with that our identities. I can talk to these other women and be
validated. Because of current research on women in their middle years, I can turn to many Web sites
and learn what else to expect. Identifying as part of a group can be very beneficial.
Who am I? I am the sum of all of my labels-and then some. I am a wife, mother, daughter, Sherlock Holmes
fan, fair-weather power walker. I am a Type "A" personality. I am a writer, and I like to cook. And yes!
I am a family caregiver too. It is becoming a mantra for me, and I think it should for you as well.
By identifying myself as a family caregiver, part of a group, I am building recognition of what I do. I
am part of a group of people - in fact a very large group - with common issues, characteristics, needs
and concerns. We caregivers so often fall into our roles, just taking on tasks one after the other, as a
matter of course, feeling feelings we are afraid to own. By giving a name to our situation we validate
our experiences, and all of our feelings. We say to the world: Here I am! Acknowledge me! Help me!
By identifying ourselves as family caregivers, we are in a position to fight for our rights, to begin to
change the way society regards us, to start feeling better about our situation because we are identifying
it for what it is-a painful job that we are so often asked to do alone, regardless of physical, emotional
and financial costs.
For too many years I did not have a name for what had happened to my life when my husband Steven was
diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. For too many years I was angry and unable to be comfortable with
myself.
By identifying myself as a family caregiver, and by asking you to do the same, I no longer feel alone,
angry or displaced. In fact, I feel strong and empowered. Armed with statistics and stories, I hold my
head high and reach out for help with dignity. I talk to the press and members of Congress. I meet with
other groups whose issues converge with those of family caregivers and chart a course for change in our
healthcare system. I feel okay about my pain and understand my frustration, but best of all, I now take
true pride in myself, and all I have overcome in my role as a family caregiver.
By identifying ourselves as family caregivers we are saying that family caregiving is not just a personal
issue for those involved, to be dealt with only within the confines of our family, but rather a national
issue that must be addressed. By identifying ourselves as family caregivers, we are calling attention to
the inequities in our healthcare system. By identifying ourselves as family caregivers, we are saying we
matter. By identifying ourselves as family caregivers, we are alerting researchers, policy makers,
insurers and others to the impact of family caregiving on us as individuals, on our families, and on
society at large.
Being a family caregiver is not the end all of my identity, but it is definitely part of it. It cannot, and should not, be denied. So who am I? I am Suzanne Mintz, woman, wife, mother, daughter, author, Sherlock Holmes fan-and yes, a family caregiver.
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