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What is the common thread that ties together those of us who care for spouses, children, parents,
siblings, partners or friends who are chronically ill, frail, or disabled?
It certainly is not the tasks of caregiving since they vary so much, from helping a developmentally
delayed child learn new skills, to taking an aging parent to frequent doctor's appointments, or
suctioning a spinal chord injured spouse virtually every hour of every day.
It surely isn't the number of years involved since caregiving can range from a few short months to
three to five years or at times can last a lifetime.
It is not the location which can vary from situation to situation. Although most caregiving occurs at
home, it can also occur in a nursing home or from long distance.
If it is not the responsibilities or tasks, and it is not the length of time or location, then what is
the essential bond of caregiving?
In 1994 the National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA) conducted its first caregiver member survey
to define the link between all caregivers. We found in no uncertain terms that the common bond of
caregiving is its emotional impact. In 1997 the NFCA surveyed their members and once again found that
the emotional impact remained the common bond among all family caregivers.
The Common Bonds of Caregiving are:
- Intense sadness and pain
- Longing for the miracle of normalcy.
- Frustration as a result of changing family dynamics.
- Isolation which comes from living outside the norm.
- Disappointment over the lack of understanding of non-caregivers.
- Stress over the increased and enormous responsibilities.
- Depression over all the losses sustained by caregiving.
- Fortitude and power to go on and make a difference.
- Resourcefulness in our problem solving abilities.
- Strength in the knowledge we can survive.
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